Before we get started, allow me to go on record by stating that I have brown hair. Well I used to anyway. It is all gray now. But it was brown in 1969 when I married a blond. It is now 2008. I am still married to that blond. And I have to tell you, all those blonde jokes, they are all true!
My blond was a knockout in 1969. And she still is today. She weighs nine pounds more then the day I married her. She watches her diet and exercises with a vengeance. She is “Nanny” to our five grandchildren and dedicates her life to those kids. She still drives the Volvo 240 that I bought new for her in 1991 and, much like her, it still looks like it did the day I took delivery. She has driven the car 157000 miles and yet every other time she pulls into a self serve gas station, she has to get back in the car and pull to another pump because she forgot where the fill tube was located.
My wife and I don’t speak the same language. I speak very precise and specific English. I think she speaks English because I recognize the words. But I don’t have a clue as to their meaning. When we sit and have coffee together in the morning and read the newspaper we talk. I have always threatened to have a hidden tape recorder record these conversations. If you listened to one of these conversations on tape, you would swear their must be a third party in the conversation that you cannot hear. Surely we are not replying to each other. I’m talking about some new area I want to scout and she is talking about Kristy Lee Cook being thrown off American Idol. Since 1969 I calculate that I have understood approximately 10% of the things my wife has said to me. My goal is to reach 15% before I die.
To this day my wife still believes we get better gas mileage when we drive south because we are going down hill. She will watch “It’s A Wonderful Life” at Christmas each year and cry at the same sad scenes year after year. She takes three hours preparing herself for her driver’s license renewal every four years. Not for any test questions, for the picture on the license. “You have to show it in all the stores when you use your charge cards.” is justification for a glamour shoot.
I have watched this woman do things over the past 39 years that only cause me to shake my head and wonder. And when she kisses me goodnight every night it makes me wonder even more. I wonder what my life would be had it not been for her. All these years and she is still a mystery. It is still 1969.
She can have any car she wants; I could care less what it costs. I offer every year to buy her a new car. She just tells me that she is completely satisfied with her Scandinavian import and doesn’t want to learn how to drive a new model.
I splurged this year on our anniversary present. I got her new license plates for her car. I wanted everyone to know that she was “My 240.”
I am completely satisfied with my Scandinavian import just like she is. I don't want to learn how to drive a new model either.
I have no idea where i would be if it was not for her coming into my life. [Probably jail or dead] It is truely a real blessing when you find that special person to spend the rest of your life together with. They deserve and are fun to spoil 
I would give her anything she wants as well Mike, but it is hard to get her to get things for herself. So I take the initiative myself! 