CHEAP HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
Moderator: Excalibur Marketing Dude
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CHEAP HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
HOW TO INSTALL A CHEAP HOME SECURITY SYSTEM IN THE NORTH
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 Work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine, your NRA magazines and, of course, your bowhunting/xbow magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 Work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine, your NRA magazines and, of course, your bowhunting/xbow magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls - they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.
Better wait outside.
Cooter
Now I've got that picture in my head.bstout wrote:Good one!
I had an episode years ago where my buddy (Larry) was coming over to my house to shoot shotguns one morning. I have this nifty shooting range on my property because I live in the country. Larry wasn't due to show up until 9:00am or so and I was sitting on the couch, still in my whitie tighties cleaning my shotgun when there was a knock at the door.
That's funny because Larry never knocks he just walks in and he's never early. Still for some reason I thought it was Larry and went to answer the door. Along the way I picked up an empty beer can from the night before and was going to put it in the recycle bin outside. So I open the door with a break-open shotgun in my whitie tighties holding a beer can and it's not Larry!
It was a group of church ladies coming to save me or something like that. I'm already saved but I shouted at them to wait...come back as they dropped their brochures and ran for their car.
No one else has tried to save me since. Then Larry showed up and we had fun shooting our shotguns.
Moral of the story; get dressed before cleaning your shotgun and don't run around picking up empty beer cans when you've got church ladies at the door.
Scott
http://www.myspace.com/saxman1
Take a kid hunting
They don't remember their best day of watching TV
Excalibur Equinox
TruGlo Red/Green Dot
NGSS Absorber by NewGuy
Custom strings by BOO
Groundpounder Top Mount
ACF Member - 2011
http://www.myspace.com/saxman1
Take a kid hunting
They don't remember their best day of watching TV
Excalibur Equinox
TruGlo Red/Green Dot
NGSS Absorber by NewGuy
Custom strings by BOO
Groundpounder Top Mount
ACF Member - 2011
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- Posts: 5701
- Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 8:36 pm
- Location: Decatur County, Indiana
Shame on them!bstout wrote: So I open the door ... in my whitie tighties ... and it's not Larry! It was a group of church ladies coming to save me ... I shouted at them to wait ... as they dropped their brochures and ran for their car.
Running away from duty like that.
I make sure my church ladies know what Jesus said:
" ... I needed clothes and you did not clothe me ... I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me."
They would have given you some clothes, Bob!
Grizz
Grizz, you're killin' me!
It could be the gun had more to do with their quick departure than the undies?
It could be the gun had more to do with their quick departure than the undies?
________________
Sent from a mobile device - So spelling and grammar may be questionable!
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"Team DryFire"
Vixen, Micro 315, HHA Optimizer, Boo & VixenMaster strings, Munch Mounts, Dr. Stirrup accessories.
Sent from a mobile device - So spelling and grammar may be questionable!
---
"Team DryFire"
Vixen, Micro 315, HHA Optimizer, Boo & VixenMaster strings, Munch Mounts, Dr. Stirrup accessories.
I gave up wearing white underwear (tighties?) when my mother quit buying for me. That was some time ago btw. Nothing else shocks me 'cept where is your "As for Me and My House Door Mat"...if you had that mat out they would have known you were already saved and spared the horror of your not-so-white tighties .bstout wrote:Good one!
I had an episode years ago where my buddy (Larry) was coming over to my house to shoot shotguns one morning. I have this nifty shooting range on my property because I live in the country. Larry wasn't due to show up until 9:00am or so and I was sitting on the couch, still in my whitie tighties cleaning my shotgun when there was a knock at the door.
That's funny because Larry never knocks he just walks in and he's never early. Still for some reason I thought it was Larry and went to answer the door. Along the way I picked up an empty beer can from the night before and was going to put it in the recycle bin outside. So I open the door with a break-open shotgun in my whitie tighties holding a beer can and it's not Larry!
It was a group of church ladies coming to save me or something like that. I'm already saved but I shouted at them to wait...come back as they dropped their brochures and ran for their car.
No one else has tried to save me since. Then Larry showed up and we had fun shooting our shotguns.
Moral of the story; get dressed before cleaning your shotgun and don't run around picking up empty beer cans when you've got church ladies at the door.
Good one Stinky
Last edited by ehntr on Fri Aug 01, 2008 4:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
E/M/MOBUI330 (Finn-esse)
E/M/N335 (Finn-bad)
Click "User Control Panel", "Profile", Location: (you don't have to tell everyone you're "in a van down by the river") but for Pete's sake, what state/prov or country are you in?
E/M/N335 (Finn-bad)
Click "User Control Panel", "Profile", Location: (you don't have to tell everyone you're "in a van down by the river") but for Pete's sake, what state/prov or country are you in?
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Thanks for the comments, folks! (Can't take credit for it, though... It was e-mailed to me this week...)
Heh! Man, bstout, that sure is funny! Reminds me of a Gopher shoot I was on this Summer, but that's a totally different story...
Good to see you on here ehntr... Didn't know you shot an Excalibur... Good stuff!
Cheers,
Stinky
Heh! Man, bstout, that sure is funny! Reminds me of a Gopher shoot I was on this Summer, but that's a totally different story...
Good to see you on here ehntr... Didn't know you shot an Excalibur... Good stuff!
Cheers,
Stinky
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- Location: McEwen Tennessee
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- Joined: Fri Aug 04, 2006 8:36 pm
- Location: Decatur County, Indiana
BigTiny wrote:I don't even have to go buy the boots! All I need to do is write the note.
_________________
Brother Model 80
Automatic Needle Threader
Overcasting Foot with Side Cutter
80 Stitches.
Did you fabricate them on the Model 80?
E/M/MOBUI330 (Finn-esse)
E/M/N335 (Finn-bad)
Click "User Control Panel", "Profile", Location: (you don't have to tell everyone you're "in a van down by the river") but for Pete's sake, what state/prov or country are you in?
E/M/N335 (Finn-bad)
Click "User Control Panel", "Profile", Location: (you don't have to tell everyone you're "in a van down by the river") but for Pete's sake, what state/prov or country are you in?
Shoes are way beyond my current skill level, but I am making some new hunting clothes this year. I have to special order the gigantopithecus-class patterns, since they don't carry them at my local fabric store. I guess the list of guys with 40-inch sleeves who sew their own clothes is a short one.ehntr wrote:BigTiny wrote:I don't even have to go buy the boots! All I need to do is write the note.
_________________
Brother Model 80
Automatic Needle Threader
Overcasting Foot with Side Cutter
80 Stitches.
Did you fabricate them on the Model 80?
Brother Model 80
Automatic Needle Threader
Overcasting Foot with Side Cutter
80 Stitches
Automatic Needle Threader
Overcasting Foot with Side Cutter
80 Stitches