O/T Here Ya Go Mike P[Final Post]

[awshucks]

If your contacting Irish spring for a bulk batch it may not be a bad idea to get it while it is still in it's concentrated liquid form, it could easily be distributed with a crop sprayer, crop sprayers come at a better cost and the pilots are usually less concerned with the cargo.
Not that I care to join in, but if I did this would be my suggestion.

Thanks for the thoughts and moral support. All ideas welcome, for sure. Actually, I had considered this approach early in the planning. First off, it too much resembles "carpet bombing" for my tastes. Secondly, there's wind drift to consider. I could possibly hurt innocent neighbors who hunt their adjoining property. Third, the only crop dusters I've seen are single seaters, so I wouldn't be able to go w/ pilot and plane/cargo. A mission of this magnitude demands a commander on scene.

And then the biggie. I'm soooo looking forward to being able to say into my headset: "Bombadier to pilot, gimme 5 degrees to port [or starboard] and hold er steady" as I reach down for another "green grenade". Or two.

One other thing. I've noticed from the tone of the questions in my pm's w/ bar soap contributions, a totally unexpected possible side effect problem. Guys seem to want to help so bad, they are dangerously close to starting an Olympic type competition between our two great nations to see who can donate the most soap. While I admire and respect their competitive nature, I can't have this.

Therefore, this and all future updates on donations MUST be in total bars only.

Total as of this am: 92 bars, and the free flop in Tn [x2]

Mike P: Please end this. Only you have the power and the pen.

[Mike P]

I'm like trembling in my boots. Please find the attached letter I just received regarding your pathetic little attempt at forcing a truce. I did X out parts of the address, I don't want to do all your work for you.







Ohio Dept. of Natural Resources
Division of Wildlife
PO Box 487
Xenia, Ohio 48218



October 3, 2008



Mr. Michael P. XXXXXX
176 XXXXXXXX
State Route XXXX
West Union, Ohio 45693


Dear Mr. XXXXXX,

I am in receipt of your letter dated October 1, 2008 describing the threatened seeding of your property with bar soap in an effort to displace wildlife from your property. Please understand that as a state wildlife biologist I am unable to offer you any information as to the legalities of such actions by the perpetrators, I am able to give you information regarding any attack of this nature and the subsequent affect on said wildlife.

While bar soap manufactured under the brand name of Irish Spring has indeed been found to be a deer repellent, I am happy to inform you that this effectiveness has been determined to be regional in nature. There is nothing inherent to the chemical makeup of the product that is a true deer deterrent. There are several products commercially marketed that do incorporate many chemicals that are natural deer deterrents, but soap products generally do not fall into this category.

Studies have shown that scented bar soaps have only been effective as deer deterrents in mainly southern states. This aversion to bar soaps in these southern states has been a "learned" behavior specifically by whitetail deer and does not seem to affect other species. The effectiveness of the aversion increases the further south you travel and culminates with the highest aversion rates in the state of Arkansas.

While this was not fully understood up until 1995, it was correlated with another study conducted during that year recording the bathing and grooming regiments of individuals within these states. It was discovered that whitetail deer were able to differentiate the odor of normal resident individuals versus those from northern states via the odor of bath soaps. While this differentiation was not significant in states such as Georgia, Virginia, Florida and both North and South Carolina, it was most significant in Tennessee with the highest degree of differentiation taking place in the state of Arkansas. Once again, this correlated perfectly with the study of bathing and grooming habits regarding the individuals within those two states.

In conclusion I have determined that the act of seeding your property with bar soap in any effort to displace whitetail deer, while insidious in nature, will have little to no affect. Such an act would be most affective in the two states mentioned above but would have little effect here in Ohio based on the bathing and grooming regiment studies on file.

If I can be of any further service or should you have any additional questions please do not hesitate to contact myself or any of the resident biologists here at the Dept. of Natural Recourses.


Sincerely yours,

Sidney Hightower
Resident Biologist
Ohio Dept. of Natural Recourses
Ohio Division of Wildlife

[Grizzly Adam]

This aversion to bar soaps in these southern states has been a "learned" behavior specifically by whitetail deer and does not seem to affect other species. The effectiveness of the aversion increases the further south you travel and culminates with the highest aversion rates in the state of Arkansas.

While this was not fully understood up until 1995, it was correlated with another study conducted during that year recording the bathing and grooming regiments of individuals within these states. It was discovered that whitetail deer were able to differentiate the odor of normal resident individuals versus those from northern states via the odor of bath soaps. While this differentiation was not significant in states such as Georgia, Virginia, Florida and both North and South Carolina, it was most significant in Tennessee with the highest degree of differentiation taking place in the state of Arkansas. Once again, this correlated perfectly with the study of bathing and grooming habits regarding the individuals within those two states.

All right, y'all.

This has gotten personal now.

Are you going to put up with this, Awshucks?

Next thing we know, he'll be insulting our mamas or speaking against barbecue. Where does it all end?

Do I smell the scent of war in the air?

Mike: We cannot allow these slights to remain unanswered, Sir.

Do not suppose that the "not significant" southern states will overlook the injury you have done to Tennessee and Arkansas.

We shall stand together, or fall as one. It cannot be otherwise.

Awshucks is right. Only you have the power to prevent the melee that is brewing on this board.

It pains me to do this, but I must raise the banner for the Old North State:



LONG LIVE DIXIE!

"Sidney Hightower" ... indeed.

[Mike P]

We shall stand together, or fall as one.

I understand you boys have some experience in this area.

[awshucks]

He's getting scared and desperate. Making mistakes. Under estimating his opponent.

Does anyone in their right mind believe he could get a letter to Oh game dept and BACK in 3 days? Dealing w/ USPS and the red tape of a state boorackracy?

He should have forged an email vs that phony letter. Could have rode that horse a spell.

Then he cast aspersions on citizens of TWO states!! Dang, the bump in donations was immediate, up to 132 bars!

While he's trembling and making the mistake of trying to bluff me, I've been doing research up the wazoo.

Any of y'all ever hear of the Norden Bombsight?


I found one!




[img][img]http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h74/a ... hunter.jpg[/img][/img]

[Mike P]

Next thing we know, he'll be insulting our mamas or speaking against barbecue.

Do we have any forum members from Kansas City or Texas that would care to enlighten poor mr. grizz in this area?

[Mike P]

[img][img]http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h74/a ... hunter.jpg[/img][/img]

Duh..... Like the Canadians could ever hit anything. They the same as you southern boys with just harrier legs!

[Mike P]

Does anyone in their right mind believe he could get a letter to Oh game dept and BACK in 3 days? Dealing w/ USPS and the red tape of a state boorackracy?

I know you might find this hard to believe aw, but up here in the north we have magic ways to send letters over the telephone lines. I know, I know, hard to believe. They even have a special name for the darn contraption. Call it a fax machine for some strange reason.

Amazing how technology marches on. Look how last year you got indoor plumbing. There is just no stopping these technological advances so I guess we better adapt.

[awshucks]

Duh..... Like the Canadians could ever hit anything.

They're hitting my inbox in droves. I'm over 200 donated bars.

You mighta really stepped in it this time.

I'm going bear hunting. Try a little harder to behave. Just got out of the shower. Two today in fact.

If I get a shot at a nice fat one, I'll be thinking of ya! I'm like that.

[Grizzly Adam]

We shall stand together, or fall as one.

I understand you boys have some experience in this area.

Oh, that was uncalled for!

So you want to play ugly, huh?

Fortunately, at 200 bars promised already, it doesn't seem that Awshucks is plagued by the limited resources that figured into the outcome of that original conflict. Time for a new plan. Y'all can't just throw money and people at this one and hope to win again. Not this time.

I always wondered when the South would rise again.

Keep stirring, Sir. Keep stirring.

[awshucks]

Bear hunt report: saw a sow w/ 2 cubs. They all 3 got a pass. Back to problem at hand.

Soap bar count is up to 227. Don't recall fax numbers available on ODNR site, but will have to check. Report on that later.

May decide to forego the Norden sight. The delivery aircraft being unknown, the amounts of duct tape and baling wire needed to rig the system may be too daunting even for me.

We have a festival coming soon [10/14/08] here at Mena airport. It's called "Wheels and Wings". [True facts].

For $20 you can take a ride in a plane. I know the pilots, for the most part.
I am sure I can get one to fly me over a reference point at 500 feet, and at a speed of 120 or 180 mph. Why those two you may ask? Because 60 mph is 88 fps. I remember that from Drivers Ed in or about 1966. Easy math, the kind I can do in my head. Like leading ducks w/ a scatter gun.

All I really need to do is figure out the time it takes a bar of Irish Spring to tumble to earth, [Mikes Earth] from 500 feet, at either of those two speeds, I can compute my lead[s]

A man needs constants. Things he can rely on w/o fail. My problem solving abilities are, well, what they are. Seconded only by my determination to end this feud.

I now have the added determination of an insult to the best ally the USA ever had, plus distinct slurs on the cleanliness of residents of at least two Southern states.

I want you to know Mike, not only am I getting IS bar soap donations at an incredible rate, I'm getting suggestions on how to improve my chances for success.

Here's a few I passed on. Yes, I know drilling 3/4" holes in the middle of the bars to encompass an M-80 would provide excellent dispersal. The problem would be the fuse burn time, not long enough for 500' drop, imho.

Yes, I'm aware that a stale non filtered cigarette added to the M-80 fuse adds approx 5 min delay. Problem there is possible forest fires. Since I live in an area that fears this possibility, I've actually ran a SO or two off for insisting on throwing lit butts out my truck window.

Give it up, Mike. Let's not have to go through all of this. It doesn't need to be.

[FredBear]

This is getting good! Although I must stand behind my fellow buckeye, in this new civil war

[Grizzly Adam]

Next thing we know, he'll be insulting our mamas or speaking against barbecue.

Do we have any forum members from Kansas City or Texas that would care to enlighten poor mr. grizz in this area?

Oh, Son ... now them there's fightin' words!

You can talk about a man's wife or children ... you can even badmouth his truck ... but when you go to downin' the methods he uses to prepare the humble swine, well ... there's just no excuse for poor manners.

To slander the sacred ... and in public, like that. We're dealin' with a ruthless individual here, 'Shucks.

So, Mike ... I 'spose y'all Texans put 'maters and sugar in your cue? Or is that just when you run out of Beech Nut juice?

Poor soul.

You just ain't got no fetchin' up, cuz'.

[awshucks]

I've decided to end this w/o waiting for your inevitable capitualtion. I quit.

All bar soap donations will be returned upon receipt. I didn't realize how this personal battle would polarize the forum.

I didn't realize in your desperation we would be forced to revisit the War of 1812 nor re-fight the Civil War all over again.

I had no way of knowing this would cause you to cast aspersions on the entire Southern Us. Impugn the aiming abilities of Canucks.

Bring BBQ into the melee. Our's is better, but c'est la vie.

Actually, I started having 2nd thoughts when I read your post in "Hero's" about taking a beating in the stock market.

Among many other things, we Southerners are known for not kicking a man when he's down.

Ask Grizz. You're legal battle w/ him will no doubt continue, but I don't have a dog in that fight, other than to root for his side.

The defining moment, if you will, came this afternoon via pm. I had checked my inbox for the current count on bars of Irish Spring donations. [351].

What caused me pause, no most accurately stated, convinced me to abondon my plan was the offer of 55 gal of Agent Orange from a Viet Nam vet......

Apparently, he had been able to smuggle this home along w/ a few AK 47's, Cong battle flags, ect.

It touched my heart that after 30+ years he was willing to get off of this ingot on my behalf.

That's when I knew I had lost. An offer of a known carcinogen. Shipped in a no doubt extremely rusty barrel.

I therefore quit Mike. Revenge is a liquor that should be sipped.

Not guzzled like a quart of Moosehead. Awshucks