O/T Enjoy The Coffee

[Grizzly Adam]

Grizz . . .that's interesting, who do you teach the class to? t

Credit and debt considerations are part of my premarital counseling sessions, Scott. In fact, I've just now finished putting the final touches on a new program to start with a couple tomorrow evening.

Financial strain is a leading cause of marriage stress ... so I seek to nip bad attitudes and practices "in the bud" ... but my advice is no better than their willingness to listen and apply!

It's a serious responsibility, and one I take seriously!

[sumner4991]

Mike P . . .I agree 100%. The mortgage mess isn't nearly over and the bad examples are everywhere.

Grizz . . .I wish everyone had to attend your class. Unfortunately, sometimes it's too late by then. It really needs to be taught at the High School level.

[VixChix]

When we got married we thought we were doing pretty good... then our little guy came along. We didn't think we'd have kids.

Then just before the end of my maternity leave we decided I would quit my job to stay home with our son. So now we're biting the bullet and living in debt. It's just a few, painful years, but we thought it was better to be in debt than to let someone else raise our child. No regrets, but we sure can relate to the strain that money, or more accurately, DEBT, can put on a relationship. It's no fun, but there's no one else I'd rather be in debt with than my husband!

Having come to realize how very precious children are, I hate to hear couples talk about putting off having kids until they have "enough" other stuff. YOU NEVER HAVE "ENOUGH".

I'm not advocating debt by any means, I just think there are some things worth being in debt for, if that's what it takes.

[raydaughety]

I totally understand Vix, that's what we tried to do but quickly realized that with my injury and another mouth to feed, Tina went back to work at a job that she really likes. With my liability suite coming to a close, things will change drastically for us but we have "walls" in place to protect our future. However, I do need a new truck .

God Bless,

[sumner4991]

VixChix . . .it would be even better if you had everything you have now and no debt, right? That could have been the case. I was lucky, my wife and I got married when I was 27, she was 22. We didn't have any debt at the time. When we bought a house, we qualified on one income . . .that way if one of us lost their job, then we would be OK. Ended up with a smaller home, but, it's still perfect(well, smaller than average and the Mrs. still complains) . . .even after adding two children. We both remained employed, but, I worked from home in the mortgage business. Everything, work wise, was perfect until this mortgage mess. Now, I really have no income . . .however, it hasn't affected how we live our lives at all. Because, we have always based borrowing on one income and even then we were cautious and planned ahead. Right now, we have money set aside for a new car, we have been saving for it for 4 years. Hopefully, our autos will keep running, but, when they die(they all do), we are ready. Anyway, I know too many people that are surprised when they have to buy new tires or pay for insurance(including my parents) . . .duh! It's hard to get into the cycle of having the cash before you buy. However, once you get there it makes everything so much easier. I did without for a few years, didn't kill me and now things are a ton easier. Instead of paying interest, we are collecting it on that car money. The power of simple interest is amazing . . .needs to be taught on a practical level in High School. Right now, we are saving for college and weddings for our girls. . . I'll never get enough to cover those bills!

[Grizzly Adam]

Right now, we are saving for college and weddings for our girls. . . I'll never get enough to cover those bills!

Scott ... the grand total for our wedding was $301 in 1993! We were married in the church building, April's brother Glenn officiated, April borrowed a wedding dress and paid to have it cleaned, the church women fixed finger foods, punch and a cake ... and I bought a new suit:

Suit: $150
Dress Cleaning: $85
Glenn's gas: $60
Misc: $6
Total: $301

I used the suit in my work for five years after that (I still have it, and it's in good shape)!

No need to go in debt for a wedding. The same things that make for good "coffee" make for good weddings ... God, family, and friends! Doesn't take anything more than a couple in love, folks and some food.

I understand folks who want to help their kids with college ... but my parents couldn't ... I paid every cent of my own way! Took me three years past school to pay my loans, but we did it!

So there you go ... be generous and double our figure ... tell your daughters they can each have $600 for their weddings!

[Crockett&boon]

i guess i was pretty lucky i had a mother and father who only went out to eat and stuff like that on birthdays and annv. so me and my brother brandon seen what it took to save money i see so many people (my 1/2 brother sam) he just moved up here from texas to tennessee at age 42 he didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to toss it out of got a job took his lunch to work came home to eat dinner every night now he got a pay check under his belt lunch out everyday dinner out 2-3 times a week i've learned its really not the big stuff that gets you in money trouble it all the little stuff like eating out to much that does alot of damage to the pocket book

[VixChix]

Sumner, you're right. It would be nice not to have the debt and have everything else. Before my husband and I met, we were both happily single and weren't interested in settling down with anyone and setting up house. We spent our money they way we wanted to without worrying about buying a house or family. Things were fine.

Then we met.

We got married and bought our house in '01. We could have rented for a few years, but house prices have skyrocketed here - we were lucky we bought when we did. We bought a little, older house, just big enough for the two of us. We thought we were too old to have kids and we didn't want to pay for more house than we needed. We're frugal in most ways. We don't have cable, don't go to the movies, rarely eat out, don't drive new cars, don't take cruises or big vacations... Sometimes it sucks, but we're glad to have the chance to be raising our boy, instead of paying a daycare to do it their way. Won't be long and I'll be working again. It won't be like this forever... just a few years. In the meantime we're making the most of this precious time in our lives. We're enjoying the coffee!

[saxman]

I know I'm not alone in saying this but it has been a hard adjustment for me,I was used to going Mach 2 with my hair on fire to being home everyday and not making much money and my transplant was just a bump in the road compaired to what some of you deal with everyday.I am not good with money and my wife is worse,great combo right?
I will begin Vocational Rehab very soon to learn something else and get busy again.I plan on taking a crown financial class at church.

[Grizzly Adam]

We got married and bought our house in '01. We could have rented for a few years

Buying a house is a sound investment, Vixchix! There is a huge difference in carrying a mortgage debt and having unsecured consumer debt, as I'm sure you know.

If you keep acting responsibly and pay that house off, you'll be the exception ... not the rule. Keep up the good work!

[raydaughety]

Well I have a problem and hope that someone could point me in the right direction. I can't go into great detail but I received my back injury at work from a product that failed. (will explain at later date, suite is still pending.) So, workman's comp has paid for my time missed at work and my medical expenses which have come to approx $800,000. Workman's comp has also agreed to pay any and all future medical payments as it relates to this particular injury , It was never my intention to sue anyone until I realized just how injured I was and how it gets worse year after year and will continue to do so. So, following advice from a client, we went to see an attorney and he pointed out the obvious, I had a severe injury, I would continue to deteriorate as I age, and when it gets so bad that I'm unable to work, it will be too late to seek compensation. So we filed the law suites 5 years ago and they (the defendants) are ready to sit down at a mediation and try to resolve this thing. Now, we are talking about a substantial amount of money here not just a couple of grand. Now, I've heard all of the lotto winners blowing their winnings and such but let me give my perspective on this. I will walk into this meeting employed and making ends meet and I will leave the meeting that way so anything that happens behind those doors will be a blessing and a security for our future. With that being said, we are scared to death because our cup has always been less than full and our cup will soon runneth over . I didn't get to go to college but did acquire my paramedic license and reached Interior Firefighter II from the SC Fire Academy as a teenager but that career didn't pan out. So, we've worked hard for everything that we have. Our only bill is our no interest mortgage (buying the house from family) and the normal stuff, insurance, gas, childcare and so on. I earn money on my own to support my hunting habit and NEVER take $ from the family budget. I did get some money from the State for my partial disability rating and we chose to buy a small piece of real estate and rent to out to the Governments HUDD program so I don't have to run down a tenant. So, what I'm trying to say is that we're going to come into a good deal of money soon that we need to find someone to help us manage it. My children WILL go to college, period. I do need a new truck that is handicapped accessible but other than that, we don't know what to do to protect ourselves and the money. So any suggestions would be a blessing.

As far as our kids, they get a paycheck just like we do . Being handicapped, there are things that I cannot do so, instead of paying a stranger to mow the lawn, clean the vehicles and other chores that the man of the house is usually responsible for, we pay Tyler to do. Brianna gets an allowance as well. We also reward the kids for good grades. Evidently what we're doing with the kids works because Tyler has saved up a couple hundred dollars and doesn't touch it unless he has to, (he bought sissy a beautiful valentines gift) .

Anyhow, that's where we are in life and as I said, any reccomendations would be greatly appreciated because we've never had anything in our lives except for each other Ok, I'm done

[Mike P]

Right now, we are saving for college and weddings for our girls. . . I'll never get enough to cover those bills!

Yes you will. Somehow you will do it. I put my son through Northern Illinois University and my daughter through Southern Illinois University. No student loans, and no other loans of any sort taken by me to pay the tuition, room and board. Yes, they both lived on campus.

My son did a five year plan at Northern in four years and saved me some money. My daughter did a four year plan in five years at Southern and ate up the savings created by my son. I spent over $165,000.00 over a five year period. Did I mention they both were in college at that same time? Did I mention my wife was a stay at home mom who has never worked from the day we got married?

I set aside 35 grand a year from my annual income for the cost of education for the kids. After paying the mortgage, insurances, etc. etc. there was not much left at the end of the month for anything! We would save what was left for gas money to put in the car so we could go visit the kids.

Those times were really tough. But I would give everything I have to go back and do it all over again.

I agree with Grizzly that investing in a home historically has been a very sound investment. It sure was for me. But the best investment I ever made in my life was in my children. It has the greatest return of any investment I ever made.

Did I mention my daughters wedding was a shade over twenty grand?

[oldbhtrnewequip]

Buying a house is a sound investment, Vixchix! There is a huge difference in carrying a mortgage debt and having unsecured consumer debt, as I'm sure you know.
....

I tend to agree with you. They are completely different although, I'd tweak what you're saying about buying a house a little.

I'm not qualified to talk about the pains of consumer debt because it is something I've never believed in. The only debt I have ever carried is for housing. That said, you could buy the right house at the wrong time and wind up paying through the nose for it the rest of your life. (or walking away from the mortgage).

Buying a house at the right time in the right area CAN be a sound investment. It can also be devastating to your long term financial picture, when you consider the importance of long appreciation. What is not being talked about are the people who are continuing to pay for their mortgages but spent way too much money on their "coffee cups" in the first place.
It seems that all of the focus and attention is being placed on the sub prime market.

I think walking away from a mortgage can be a very sound thing to do, depending on a LOT of factors. The two biggest are the debt to equity ratio and the current value of the house. I think its important for the mortgage community to take a spanking on this issue of sub prime mortgages to keep "this" from happening in the future.

I'm in the market for a retirement house and had the house I want come on the market in Feb a year ago. Initial asking price was $625k. I had a buddy who lives in the area tell me that it was a fantastic price and that I should move on it. Fantastic house. Incredibly ridiculous price though.

She now wants $440k. The price is still way too much for what she's selling and where it is, based on the price of gas going to $4/gal this time next year and this place being treated like a bedroom community.

I believe I'll be making another offer well below 440 on the first cold day of the fall/winter this year.

[oldbhtrnewequip]

Well I have a problem ... Ok, I'm done

I hope things turn out well for you on the arbitration and medically!!

You really need to find a certified financial planner.
Interview several. Find out what/how they are going to charge you.
Figure out how they make money, so that if you find one that also
sells financial products, you'll know how he/she is motivated to sell
you what they're selling.

You have to be every bit as worried about inflation and devaluation of your lump sum settlement as you do about losing it in risky investments based on the potential inability to make up for those losses in the future through income (that you might not be able to get.)

You good to feel mostly comfortable but a little on edge because of concerns about inflation and YOUR cost of living.

YOUR ability to mentally and physically be able to deal with risk should be a big factor in the decision making process on recommended investements.


Be prepared to lay out the complete details of your financial situation.
Anything that has to do with money (monthly outflows and incomes) is
what they're going to want to know. Planned future expenditures (like you said your kids college education...he/she will ask (ivy league, state school, or local community college?)

Protecting visibility of cash/assets from the potential schools your kids may want to go through is/should be a consideration. Trust me when I tell you the schools want your fair share. You MAY be able to do something with a trust based on a lump sum distribution for disability, that is really oriented to future income.

Good luck

[raydaughety]

oldbhtrnewequip, Gotta be honest, I don't even know where to start other than to only draw a salary from the settlement. Mind if I shoot you a PM?