Say it Aint So....Mike P gonna kill a Doe

[Mike P]

She set her coffee down and pushed the newspaper aside. She is always last to finish reading. I blast through the sports page followed by the business section. I will briefly review local and world news headlines. She will read every word in every section. It works well this way when you share a newspaper, coffee and a warm fire in the wood burner every morning.

"So it is settled den, we vil kill a doe," she says as she neatly folds up the now consumed Cincinnati Enquirer. "Ya," I reply, "we will kill a doe." And with that the fate of a plump Southern Ohio whitetail doe was sealed. We were going to put one in the freezer.

This was the conclusion of a discussion that started a couple of weeks ago. We were out at the farm and Annika and Doc's wife prepared butterfly backstraps in garlic butter for dinner. They were rare. And they were superb.

Becker had harvested the doe during half time of the Ohio State debacle at Purdue. He was so enraged over the poor play of his beloved alma mater that he had a decision to make. He was going to kill a large mammal to vent his anger. And the choices boiled down to Shrader, who had taunted him mercilessly during the first half, or a whitetail. It was a close call. The whitetail doe lost. But believe me; it looked like a tossup for a while.

Annie and I had been talking about putting whitetail back in our diet. Well, if the truth be known, she was talking about putting whitetail back in my diet. She is on a health kick with me and as she will never get me to give up red meat, she has decided red meat without a lot of fat content or growth hormones is the red meat I should have. She also has decided that in addition to my forced marches up and down the hills and hollows with a twenty pound treestand on my back every day that I should also ride a bike ten miles minimum in between the hunts. I made a mental note to search through her planning desk in the spam to see if she purchased any additional life insurance coverage on me that I am unaware of.

Aside from the health issue portion of the decision to kill a doe, we also have been discussing philosophical reasons. Having philosophical discussions with ones wife never leads to anything good. All husbands know this. And thus, we avoid this practice at all costs. We know that regardless of the outcome of the discussion, we will always be in trouble. It matters not that we even agree with the wife and say so. Somehow, we are still in trouble. It is a law like gravity. It cannot be defied.

Now I am a pretty much "in your face I don't give a damn" type of guy regarding the way I participate in the sport of whitetail deer hunting. You know this. I have never kept it a secret. I hunt antlers. "I yam what I yam" as popeye would say. Why I even write articles for magazines telling the "brown is down" crowd to "knock this chip off my shoulder." I am anything but a politically correct closet antler junkie.


Between sips of strong Columbian coffee she says "It looks not good, no?" "No, it looks not good," I reply. She sees the things I cannot. She sees the world from a culture indoctrinated with conformity. I see it from a culture that screams out "Screw you; I'll do what I want." We are truly a match made in heaven.

She is right of course. She usually is. It does not look good. If I am going to go out into the forest and kill something I should at least have the decency to eat it. But herein lays the catch. The animal I go out and kill is not palatable by any means. Old whitetail bucks are not the best table fare. Everyone I kill is ground and given to the women's shelter to provide additional protein for their diet. It never graces my plate.

So the decision is made. I will kill a young doe. We will process it ourselves here at the house. I will still get to eat my red meat, albeit without any fat content. I will no longer bear the big red "Scarlet Letter" A for antler on the back of my camo coveralls. I once again will have caved in to her wishes.

We are going to the farm today to hunt this afternoon and tomorrow. The Ohio State versus Iowa game will be on the flat screen in Becker's blind. I plan on telling Annie that the entire Iowa team is comprised of nice Swedish boys here on the student exchange program.

Might as well give Becker a second chance.

[Kenton]

Great read Mike, good luck.

[Grizzly Adam]

The animal I go out and kill is not palatable by any means.

Old whitetail bucks are not the best table fare.

I will kill a young doe.

We will process it ourselves here at the house.

No truer words were ever spoken than those first referenced in the quote above: I hate meat from hoary old bucks. I do not like it, Sam-I-Am!

I hope you rediscover the joy of cleanly killing some prime table fare, Mike.

That, too, is what hunting is all about.

No reason you can't do both.

[Normous]

You forgot that venison meet gives you more bang for the buck in nutritional value compared to the store bought variety where the pen raise animal has no choice what to eat except the least expensive low quality food that is supplied to them by the farmer.

You are what you eat, the saying often goes. The protien, vitamin and mineral content is so much higher in venison. These amazing creatures that we hunt will seek the best nutritonal food in order to survive. You have invested much to their nutritional well being via the quality food plots that you provide for them.

I support your choice to hunt a young doe give you something back in return. Good luck!

[one shot scott]

I have not been around here long, but I never thought I would hear you say that. Thats great news!! Good luck MikeP!

[wabi]

Nothing wrong with trophy hunting, but for those of us who enjoy dining on venison there is no greater trophy than a young doe. The one I killed this year was 1½ years old and has been fine table fare.

[Hi5]

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Old whitetail bucks are not the best table fare. Everyone I kill is ground and given to the women's shelter to provide additional protein for their diet.


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.

I got the impression from your other writings that you were a pretty decent fellow. I've now concluded that you must be a monster.

Who but a monster would do such a thing? Who but a monster would take an animal that has been marinating itself for maybe a whole month in its own testosterone, and then give the flesh of that very animal to a Women's Shelter?

[Mike P]

Ironic isn't it Hi5?

[dick195252]

But does it ever taste GOOD {Young Doe's}

[chris4570]

Mike another great read. Have you thought about putting all of these short stories into a book?? Maybe as a bathroom book?? I would buy one, or two.

[Dumbazz]

We have a high buck to doe ratio here, with a definite shortage of bucks. Would much rather shoot does then young bucks.

The spray and pray gun gang are whacking the crap out of a bunch of young bucks this year. Although they shoot everything they see. I am concerned for the herd over the next few years.

I have seen one mature buck on cam this year, that's it.

In our WMU and surrounding area it should be a doe tag and apply for a buck.

[Kelley]

I now have 3 young doe in freezer. I hope to get more. We love young tender doe. Go get 'em MiKe.
Kelley

[Doe Master]

Mike you are who you are . If you harvest a doe congrats ,if you didn`t then I don`t think most of us would think the less of you . You have harvested some massive bucks that would make alot of us drool .

[awshucks]

I'll take a doe over a buck any day. Most of the bucks I've shot needed removed from the gene pool anyhow, goofy racks. My last doe in Illinois was w/ M/L and field dressed 175#. She wasn't the greatest eating but crock potted well. The State guys at the check in guessed her at 4 or 5 yrs, can't recall now.

Another good read, Mike. Kinda curious why the Swede isn't after your doe?

[Mike P]

Kinda curious why the Swede isn't after your doe?

She thinks it is important that I harvest the doe shucks. It is that "philosophical" thing. I would be happy to let her pull the trigger on a doe. That just might happen, I think she is getting an itchy trigger finger, lol.