Growing up in the country

[bigredopie]

Don't know who wrote this but he has a way with words that makes one visualize being right there beside him.

Life as a child growing up in Saskatchewan....
Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass excalibur bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our land sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down. Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place

One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I looked over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). The light bulb went off in my head.

I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Let’s face it, to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself, (Ether), really doesn't "sound" flammable.

So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles).

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the (Ether) can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie, a 1 lb. pyrodex and 16 oz (Ether) should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know.

You know what. Screw that I'm going back in the house for the other can.

Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft. and lit the 2 stroke arrow and took aim. As I released the trigger I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 fricking decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1 ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two.

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE FRICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE..

There was a big poplar tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That sumbich got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Riders T-Shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DAMN IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 ft. over our backyard. There is a Honda 185 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later....repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR. and Dad screaming "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". Thanks Mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again, Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later. I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

Author Unknown

[frisky]

[Raymond]

, yes it will teach them how to blow stumps out of the ground, .
Thanks for that one. What a find, .
Raymond

[tharris811]

NOW THATS FUNNY!!!!

[reaper]

Good lord Im 65 got tears in my eye's , & that brings back some memories.

[cmcsmitty]

That's hilarious

[ComfyBear]

The author is none other than Groundpounder, who is not from Sask., but rather Monroe Georgia.

http://www.excaliburcrossbow.com/phpBB2 ... 2&p=294425

[Big58cal]

I read that someplace before, but it didn't have the Excalibur in it. I had forgotten about it, but it's still just as funny the second time around!

[Ont_Excal]

Now that does brings back memories for me as well.
Let's just say it was a good thing that I didn't have as good an inventory as you did.
I did find enough materials to make my own gunpowder.

Only by the grace of God are we still here today.

[j.krug]

The author is none other than Groundpounder, who is not from Sask., but rather Monroe Georgia.

http://www.excaliburcrossbow.com/phpBB2 ... 2&p=294425

That story is so d@mn funny I can't wipe the silly grin off my face.

Great memory Comfy! I knew it was written by someone here before but couldn't remember the author.

[Big58cal]

There is one fatal flaw with the story though.........

Pyrodex is flamable, but not explosive. Black powder is explosive, that's why it's so hard to find people who sell it, and those who do have to follow special storage restrictions.

Still a funny story nonetheless. Did a bunch of similar stuff when I was younger. Sometimes, I wonder how in the hell I ever made it to the age I am.

[michaelrbauer]

Been there done that.
Between the ages of 8 and 16 I was the proverbial accident looking for a place to happen.
The emergency room at the hospital kept my record in the room and the doctors and nurses new me by my first name. after I turned 16 every thin calmed down and I have lived a " normal " life for the last 50 years.