O/T HUMOUR FOR THE WEEK END

[Digger]

THE DA LTON MAGINTY MINISTERIAL WRITTEN TEST

Time limit:4 Weeks

1. WHAT LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN BY FRENCH-CANADIANS?

2. GIVE THE IMPORT CHARACTERISTICS OF THE BABALONIAN EMPIRE, WITH REFERENCES TO ARCHITECTURE, LITERATURE, LAW AND SOCIAL CONDITIONS. OR GIVE THE FIRST NAMES OF THE BEATLES.

3. WHAT IS THE POPE'S RELIGION? (JEWISH, CATHOLIC, HINDU, MUSLIM OR ANGLICAN) CHECK ONE ONLY.

4. WHAT IS A SILVER DOLLAR MADE OF?

5. WHAT TIME IS IT WHEN THE BIG HAND IS ON THE ONE AND THE LITTLE HAND IS ON THE FIVE?

6. hOW MANY COMMANDMENTS (APPROXIMATELY) WAS MOSES GIVEN?

7WHAT TEAM DID MICKEY MANTLE PLAY FOR?

8. SIX KINGS OF ENGLAND WERE NAMED GEORGE, THE LAST BEING GEORGE THE SIXTH, NAME THE OTHER FIVE.

9, WHO WON WORLD WAR II? WHO CAME IN SECOND?

10. WHERE DOES RAIN COME FROM? ( LOBLAWS, EATON'S, U.S.A. SKY)

11. CAN YOU EXPLAIN EINSTEIN'S THEORY OF RELITIVITY? YESOR NO.

12. THE SONG "O'CANADA IS THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF WHAT COUNTRY?

13. EXPLAIN LeCHATELIER'S PRICIPAL FOR DYNAMIC EQUILIBRIUM FORCE- OR SPELL YOUR NAME IN BLOCK LETTERS.

14 WHAT ARE COAT HANGERS USED FOR?

15.WHAT HOLIDAY FALLS ON JANUARY 1st? ( EASTER, CHRISTMAS, NEW YEARS OR THANKS GIVING) CHECK ONE.

16. SPELL FREE TRADE, UNEMPLOYMENT, NO FAULT INSURANCEAND FISCAL RESPONIBILITY.

17. WHERE IS THE BASEMENT IN A THREE STORY BUILDING?

Digger

[GaryL]

Will have too about them kinda, sorta, like maybe hard to answer

[Brampton Mike]

Good one Digger...send it to him & he will be too busy trying to figure out the answers for the next few years & he won't be able to screw us over any more!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Brampton Mike

[Newbi]

If you fail this quiz---You may be a Red Neck!!

[Guest]

Subject: A Bit of Humor


After every flight, pilots fill out a form often called a "Gripe Sheet,"
which convey to the mechanic the problems encountered with the aircraft
during the flight, and that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crew and engineers lack a sense of
humor.
These are actual problems submitted by Quantas pilots and the solution
recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only
major airline that has never had a serious accident.

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Response: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Response: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Response: "Something tightened in cockpit."

Problem: "Evidence of leak on right main landing gear."
Response: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud."
Response: "DME volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Response: "Live bugs on backorder."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 feet per
minute descent."
Response: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Response: "IFF only inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Response: "That is what they're there for."

Problem: "Number three engine missing."
Response: "Number three engine found on right wing, after brief search."

Problem: "Aircraft handles funny."
Response: "Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious."

Problem: "Target radar hums."
Response: "Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics."

Problem: "Mouse in cockpit."
Response: "Cat installed."

Problem: "Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a
midget pounding on something with a hammer."
Response: "Took hammer away from midget."