humor

[claude]

in the days of the wild west there was a young cowboy who wanted more
than anything to the greatest gunfighter in the world. he practiced
every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't first rate
yet and there must be something that he was doing wrong. sitting
in the pecos saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man
seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in
the west in his day. the young cowboy took the seat next to the
oldtimer, bought him a drink and told him the story of his great
ambition" do you think you could give me some tips" he asked

the old man looked him up and down and said "Well for one thing your
wearing your gun too high. tie the holster a lil lower on your leg"
" will that make me a better gunfighter"asked the young man
"Sure will" said the oldtimer the young man did as he was told
stood up whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player
"thats terrific said the cowboy have you got anymore tips for me"

"Yep" said the old man"Cut a notch where your hammer hits your holster it that will give you a smother draw" "Will that make me a better gun
fighter?: asked the young man "you bet it will" said the oldtimer
the young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up
drew his gun in a blur and shot the cufflink off the piano player
"Wow" said the young man "Im learning something here do you
have any more tips?"

The old man pointed to a large can in the corner of the saloon "See that
axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it" the young man went over
and smeared some grease on his gun. "no said the oldtimer "I mean smear it all over the gun handle and all" "will that make me a better
gunfighter?" asked the young man "Nope" said the oltimer "But when
Wyatt Earp finishes playing the piano he"s going to shove that gun up
your ass, and it won't hurt as much

[Woodsman]

[Digger]